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During the Democratic Convention, delegates are being warned not to drink too much. When asked why, Democratic officials said, “Last time we got drunk at our convention, we ended up nominating Walter Mondale.” |
category: comedy | comment | added 1 hour ago
Top Ten Democratic National Convention Pickup Lines
10. Wanna form a more perfect union? 9. Something's rising and it's not the national debt 8. I'm stiffer than John Kerry 7. Let's go someplace and release our delegates 6. Care to join the wife and me for a little "bipartisanship?" 5. I'll make you scream like Howard Dean 4. Now that's what I call a stimulus package 3. I'm gonna Barack your world 2. Wanna pretend we're Republicans and have gay bathroom sex? 1. Hi, I'm John Edwards |
 video | category: comedy | comment | added 1 hour ago
Obama chose Joe Biden as his running mate. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi praised Biden, calling him the “full package.” Now he’s getting phone calls from Sen. Larry Craig. |
category: comedy | comment | added 1 hour ago
Tonight, at the Democratic National Convention, Hillary Clinton gave a big speech in favor of Barack Obama. Experts say it was the longest speech ever delivered entirely through clenched teeth. |
category: comedy | comment | added 1 hour ago
Top Ten Ways to Make the Democratic Convention More Fun
10. Offer John McCain $1 million if he correctly guesses how many homes he owns 9. Every night, one lucky lady gets to go home with John Edwards 8. In honor of party mascot, serve assortment of delicious donkey and mule treats 7. Each delegate gets a kitty ... superdelegates get a super kitty! 6. Special appearance by the exhumed remains of Lyndon Johnson 5. Call the Pepsi Center something crazy like the Bird's Nest or the Water Cube 4. Give John Kerry's crazy wife five minutes to say whatever she wants 3. Kick things off with a song from Dennis Kucinich 2. Five words: hot volleyball babes in bikinis 1. Try to squeeze Al Gore into the same suit he wore at the 2000 convention |
 video | category: comedy | comment | added 1 hour ago more recent thoughts >
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Humor
Barack Obama sent out a text message for his vice president choice at 3 a.m. He told everyone he picked Joe Biden. How do you think that made Hillary Clinton feel? She finally gets that 3 a.m. call — and it’s to tell her they picked Joe Biden. |
category: comedy | comment | added 1 hour ago
I bet whoever first said 'The future is now!' feels like a total idiot today. |
category: humor | comment | added 6 days ago
The fact that you're a 'person of interest' doesn't make you an interesting person. |
category: humor | comment | added 6 days ago
A sinkhole is a pothole that read a self-help book. |
category: humor | comment | added 6 days ago
Sources say Colin Powell is getting ready to endorse Barack Obama. Bad news for John McCain, but at his age, you’ve got to expect colon problems. |
category: comedy | comment | added 10 days ago
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